You'll Never Know
by Saiha Killeon
Summary: Miyuki was eaten by regret for five years. Now he is able to see Sawamura again, what will he do to get a second chance? or maybe it's too late. A MiyuSawa fic. A/B/O dynamics.


"…_.I've been waiting for you for seven years… I have loved you for seven years… I don't think I can anymore Miyuki-senpai" Sawamura's tears shed generously as his heart is like being stab by hundred knives. If this could kill him, he'd die in an instant. For him to feel this kind of pain is not the first, but definitely the most painful. Sawamura's heart throbs wanting to jump off his chest, lungs searching for oxygen and head hurts from crying like there's no tomorrow. It's the worst feeling. He wanted to die._

…_.._

_Miyuki was frozen in his place. He can't move a muscle or let out any word in his mouth. All he wanted to do that night is go to Sawamura's place and eat the cake he bought for his birthday. The last thing he'll be giving to Sawamura is a gift that will finally accept the feelings he have for him. He was so sure now that he truly is in love Sawamura. All Miyuki wants is to scream to the world that he's ready to accept and cherish the person he love the most but what Sawamura witnessed is a misunderstanding. As Sawamura is turning away from him, at the back of mind he is sure that tomorrow will be another day. That the pitcher will knock on his door with coffee in his hands with cute teary eyes. He is sure. He is sure that Sawamura will return._

…_.._

_Sawamura turned his back and walk away from him. No words further said. It is clear to Sawamura now. He had enough. His heart aches will stop. He will be free from this cage that's been corrupting his heart and soul for years. He loved Miyuki so much to the point of giving up his friends, family and career. Now he is alone. He wanted to laugh at himself for being so pathetic. He never once heard Miyuki that he liked him even as a pitcher. He never once showed care or affection. All of this realization made him cry even more. Sawamura gave too much… too much and not an ounce of love remained for himself. He wished to the stars that he vanish right this moment. 'It's going to be okay' he said to himself. River of tears fled from his eyes, he will cry today, and maybe tomorrow but… he will be okay. He promised he will._

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Five years have passed since that day. Miyuki can still recall every second of it. It still hurts him a lot. Whenever those memories slipped through his mind or dreams, his heart will literally clench so much so that it affected Miyuki's baseball career and daily life. Every waking day is an agony, a torment that stayed with him for five years. It never goes away. Occasionally it's subtle, but most of the time unbearable.

He was convinced by Kuramochi to go to a specialist to diagnose his condition and what they found out is rather impossible to believe but Miyuki developed broken hearted syndrome. To put fuel to fire, not only he has a pretty funny condition but he also came to know that he is an Alpha. Miyuki never once experienced any heat or desire since he was teenager but with Sawamura, it was a different. It was something warm and ethereal yet he choose to press the idea on the back of his mind. He thought that restraining his feelings will make him feel better.

It surprises Kuramochi because all this time, he think that Miyuki is a beta like him. The doctor explained that Miyuki's case is rare and is the first time he encountered something like that. Usually, during teenage years body will develop and determine biological roles: Alpha, Beta and Omega.

80% of population consist of Beta, preferably called as commoners or normal people. Betas do not undergo heart cycle therefore they are seen in most of societies as office worker, health worker and common types of work that don't require a lot. Though, they can still smell whenever Alpha or Omega is around. Betas are afraid of Alphas scent so they will do what Alpha told them to do.

Alphas are the God tier of the world and sits on the top of the food chain. Most of celebrities, politicians, athletes and elite rich people are consist of Alphas. They hold the most of top businesses and politics. Alphas control the world in the palm of their hands but this success comes with a price—lack of successors. Alpha consist of 15% of world's population. Since alphas are biologically mapped, no one can bear their children other than Omega. Problem is, Omegas are scarce resource. Their population is very low that a lot of Alphas resort to killing other Alpha and reprogramming the DNA of its Omega partner. If Alpha tries to copulate with a Beta, Beta will be overwhelmed by Alpha's strong pheromones and melt part of their brain and eventually lose their mind.

With the small population of Omega's around 5% of the world, they are being hunted, sought and bought as child bearer and lifetime partners of Alphas. Omega nowadays became more smart and able to mask their strong scent so they can avoid being forced to marry and bear children. A lot of them are living a normal life disguising as a Beta.If an Omega try to engage any sexual activities with a beta their whole body will churn and burn from the inside and they will be unable to bear children or form a bond with an Alpha. In rare case, if an Omega encountered their _'Fated Pair', _no suppressant or drugs can stop the attraction and Omega will submit his body willingly to the fated Alpha. Omega's body and pheromones will scream for that particular Alpha.

Fated pair is so rare it happens to only few people only about 5 cases ever recorded in history. It is compared to as Holy Grail of bonds. The type of bond that unifies the soul of an Alpha and Omega. Many says fated pair is complete fiction but those few who experienced the _'Fate'_ said that it was the most fulfilling thing that ever happened to them. The bond is so powerful that if one of the pair dies or go far away from the other, it will experience utter sadness, despair and never ending suffering.

After the doctor's appointment, Miyuki thanked Kuramochi for coming with him. He can't thank enough the green head whose been by his side since Seido. If not for Kuramochi, he might gone crazy because of Sawamura. He quit professional baseball last year due to stress and he can't take being with fake people anymore. Ending his baseball career, he pursue his mother's passion—writing. Miyuki started being a part time novelist in his first year at Seido under the pen name Kizumi Yukaya. He knew it sounded feminine but he told the publishing house and his editor that it's a male name. Novelist Miyuki is a top secret no one knows aside Rei. She is helping him deliver the manuscript to the editor and it continue until graduation. Rei is very helpful with Miyuki's hidden life as novelist and she did her best to support him as she is also his number one fan.

Kizumi Yukaya is really famous for his works such as _'A Day Without You' _and _'To Simply Remember' _and have been Japan's top selling books. Being translated to 15 different languages and included in top 100 bestselling books featured in Time Magazine and he's 17 years old at that time. He became so famous but no one ever saw him in person. Miyuki's contract with the publishing company is very clear – to never reveal his true identity and to keep it hidden. All of his interviews and awards is being accommodated by his editor.

Miyuki's inspiration to his works have always been one person. The only person in his life that made him feel all types emotions possible, so overwhelming it's continuous drowning him until now. He started writing again to let out all of frustrations, guilt and regrets. Miyuki is the one to blame on what happened to Sawamura but he assures that wherever part of the world Sawamura is, he hoped that through his writing he can express all of his love to him and will able to reach eventually. Miyuki just love him too much… that he became more miserable each day without him.

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Miyuki reached his phone at the bed side table. He took a glance of Sawamura's face in the background picture and smiled softly saying _'good morning'_. This is Miyuki's daily routine. He took his phone and moved out of bed to make coffee. His career as pro baseball player gained him a ton of money that he don't need to work for the rest of his life. Miyuki is not just a catcher in Boston Red Sox but he is also the poster boy in every interview, magazine modeling, commercials and TV guesting. If being a pro baseball player and famous novelist isn't enough to earn lots money, he don't know what is.

He bought a home when he realized he needed place to stay incase Swamura wanted to visit him. The place is big and spacious it could simply fit 500 people inside. Most of the furniture are made of Rosewood. He specifically ordered those from India because he came to know from Kuramochi that it was Sawamura's dream to have wooden interior as it is making him feel warm and at home. Even the flooring is made of rosewood. Miyuki also bought a chandelier in Italy because Sawamura mentioned to him once that he really liked the chandelier at the hotel where Seido reunion took place. Miyuki's world really do revolve around his former pitcher but all of this is worthless because there is no Sawamura to fill his home.

He admit that all of the things happened is his fault and truly deserve to suffer until the day he die. Neglecting and shoving Sawamura's feelings for a long time did a big impact on the following years. Miyuki is alone and sad though he will never fully reveal this to Kuramochi but the latter must've probably know… yeah he know. Kuromochi has been and always been the person he ever confined his feelings for Sawamura after the incident. He understand all the circumstances on why he turned blind eye of Sawamura's affection. Seeking his purpose in life made him lose the only person who loved him unconditionally and now he's paying the price.

Miyuki is so lost in his thoughts and the coffee turned cold. _'Dammit'_. He glanced at the silver wall clock and noticed that it's almost time for him to meet his editor which happens to be Ryosuke, he couldn't believe he's thanking God for that. Spilling the coffee onto the sink, he scratches the back of his head and proceeded to the bathroom. Even being a novelist, he never—not even once, neglect his body and is constantly going to gym to stay in shape. He do not want to be seen by Sawamura looking like an old dude with fat belly and a beard. He always took care of himself from hair care products to skin care because Sawamura once said to him that he really is handsome-minus the personality, he is perfect. Maybe part of him still hoped that his looks will swept Sawamura off his feet.

His phone rang right after he got out of the shower. He saw the caller ID it was Kuramochi.

"Yeah?" Miyuki sounded so displeased.

"What the hell is that tone?"

Miyuki laughs "What is it so early in the morning?"

"nah— change my mind. Not gonna tell" Kuramochi stick out his tongue on the other line.

"Don't be like that You-chan~"

"Disgusting. Anyway, Furuya told me that he saw Sawamura at the Ritz-Carlton hotel. I don't exactly know the details but-"

The line went silent.

"Miyuki—hey" the line was cut-off _'that fucker'_. Kuramochi quickly took his jacket and keys. _'That pain in the ass, I'm sure he will drove straight to the fucking hotel without knowing the details'_. He tried calling Miyuki but no avail. He then dialed Ryosuke's number to ask if he can stop Miyuki before he flip the hotel upside down just to look for Sawamura. Ryosuke's office is near the hotel about 5 mins walk so he will be there before Miyuki.

Miyuki's blood boils and his hands in the steering wheel is trembling. He pick his Lambo to be able to get to the hotel faster. Inside his head is the face of Sawamura, his laughs, his smiles, his tears, his determination, all back flashing like a lightning bolt. Miyuki laughs hysterically _'I can finally see him'_.

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Miyuki step out of the car in a hurry as he entered the hotel. A lot of people inside started to get dizzy. The cause of it was Miyuki's pheromones. It was so strong that Beta and even Alphas are getting affected as if they are getting on their knees. Miyuki didn't care about the havoc his pheromones is emitting.

Ryosuke was waiting on the lobby when he saw Miyuki growling at the flushed attendant. He walked towards his novelist and poked the shoulders so the troublesome Alpha can notice his presence. Miyuki's attention was caught before he could ask Sawamura's hotel room to the attendant.

"Miyuki, what do you think you're doing?" Ryosuke asked with the natural smile on his face.

Miyuki just glared at him then paid attention back to the attendant "Excuse me, what room number is Sawamu—". Miyuki was cut-off when Ryosuke injected him with a tranquilizer. Kuramochi was right behind him when Miyuki collapse.

Ryosuke apologized to the attendant then drag Miyuki out of the hotel.

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When Miyuki woke up, he was tied in his bed. Kuramochi and Ryosuke was sitting on the dark side of the room. Kuramochi sighed and went closer to Miyuki's bed untying him. Miyuki rages and the intense Alpha aura he's giving terrifies them both to the bone, Kuramochi wanted to vomit.

"Hey." Ryosuke was the first one to talk. "You didn't notice the scene you made in the hotel earlier?"

Miyuki ignored the pinknette but his pheromones still flying across the room. Kuramochi went out of the room leaving Ryosuke and Miyuki. If he stayed any longer he might pass out.

"What do you think you're doing?" Miyuki brushing his bangs, eyes still glued to the other Alpha.

The tension rises between Ryosuke and Miyuki. Kuramochi find it unsightly but he, a Beta, wasn't allowed to interfere even if he wanted to. He knocked on the door, his hands with towel covering his nose.

"Youichi, leave now"

Kuramochi heard Ryosuke, superiority made him oblige on what the Alpha wants. He did what Ryosuke said. He leave Miyuki's home and ran as far away as he can.

Ryousuke stared eye to eye with Miyuki not minding the overwhelming pheromones he's releasing. "Don't look at me like that come on." the pinknette smiled to lighten the mood.

"I'm going to look for Eijun. I need to see him."

'_First name huh?'_ Ryosuke thought. "No, listen first on what I have to say then I will let you go"

"Let me go? Oh please… as if you can stop ME." Miyuki grinned.

"Listen Miyuki. Remember when Youichi took you the Doctor specializes in heats? Well, he's a good friend of mine so he told me the result of your blood. It turns out that you are a very different kind of Alpha"

"What?"

"Normal Alpha's can be paired with any Omega's. But in your case, you have a Fated mate. Those fated Alphas will never experience heat as long as their fated Omega is not yet matured. In Sawamura's case, the reason why he kept on pursuing you for a long time, he thought that you're his fated mate Miyuki."

Miyuki eyes widen in surprise. He didn't move an inch and let his both hands cover his face. Ryousuke noticed Miyuki's sudden peculiar behavior. He then started laughing and crying at the same time.

"He's mine… haha he's mine. Sawamura is mine" the bespectacled man went to his wardrobe and change his clothes.

What Ryosuke witnessed made him took pity on Miyuki. Somehow, he hesitates to tell the truth.

"Miyuki, Sawamura is—"

Before he can finish, Miyuki stormed out of the room.

Ryosuke sighed. _'He should see to believe'_

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Miyuki was much calmer than before. Knowing that Sawamura is his Fated Pair, he don't have to hurry. He just have to see him and confess his feelings. For the first time in five years, he never been so happy.

"His room number is 409."

Giving his thanks, he rode the elevator wrapping his arms around the red roses he bought for Sawamura. He reached the fourth floor and immediately looked for the room 409. It's a little bit far way when heard children laughing and running towards him. The children didn't noticed him and bumped onto his legs.

"-Are you okay?" Miyuki asked the child while the other stared at him with teary eyes. He definitely looked like someone he's longing for— brown hair, big dark brown eyes and rosy cheeks. The child who bumped his legs looked exactly the same except for the black hair. He felt chill in his spine.

"I—I'm sorry Mister we didn't mean to." The black haired child bowed to him.

Miyuki heard loud footsteps coming towards them.

"Shuuji! Enji! Where are you—

Miyuki-senpai?"

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Thanks for reading. I wonder who Shuuji and Enji's father was.


End file.
